Coming this spring is a new book called Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which features the original text of the Jane Austen novel juiced up with “all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem.”

While I was hesitant at first to embrace the idea of ripping off Austen's most beloved work so ridiculously, I was sold by the first line: "“It’s a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

My, uh, half-birthday is coming on March 8th, by the way.

P.S. Bad news, though. It turns out that Jesus hates zombies.