The 27th Best Movie I saw this year: Take Me Home Tonight

You will think, seeing this film so far down, that I didn’t enjoy this movie very much, but you would be wrong. We’ve moved into the realm of the flawed-but-still-good movies, of which I saw a large number this year. In fact, I may have seen more movies in this category this year than I ever have. Even the movie currently in my number one spot has some real flaws to it. No movie I saw this year would be in my top-three from last year, and last year’s top-ten was much stronger than this one.

But I think the overall quality of movies I saw this year was better. My number 18 movie last year was Iron Man 2, a film Take Me Home Tonight is much better than, and once I reorganize the list to include the films I most recently saw, it’ll actually end up even further down the list, being compared to messes like The A-Team and The Voyage of the Dawn Treader [Ed: it ended up even lower than that]. So take this low rating with a grain of salt: I really enjoyed this movie. And that goes for all the movies that follow it [All 26 of them. Oh my god, what have I gotten myself into?].

Of course, there was no reason to assume I would like it, since Take Me Home Tonight was filmed in 2007 and sat on a shelf for several years. Not usually the sign of a good comedy. But the film is carefree and fun and surprisingly heartfelt. It’s a solid cable and DVD movie, and I hope it gets a reputation as a solid cult film. It deserved better than the lukewarm reception it got at the box office, but that’s what you get when you shoot a comedy packed with eighties references and then release it well after the eighties-joke bubble has burst.

Time-stamping the movie further is the presence of Dan Fogler, the wild-eyed comedian that movie studio tried to make happen from about 2006-2008 without success. He’s okay here, bringing that same strange, manic energy to the role that he brought to all his roles, but you get why he disappeared so quickly after his brief moment in the sun.

Much better are Anna Faris, Topher Grace, and Teresa Palmer. I’ve written a number of times why I feel Faris is a severely underrated comedian, partially because seeks out broad comedies rather than indie darlings, but probably mostly because she’s a woman. This last year, society seemed to move from “women aren’t funny” to “the women in Bridesmaids are funny, but no other women.” Eventually, we’ll recognize that Faris is a much stronger comedian than, say, Kevin James, but just in less successful movies.

As for Grace, I’ve always liked him and don’t know why he isn’t a bigger star. Maybe he’s pushing too hard to get lead roles rather than supporting ones, but he’s a welcome presence in any movie (he livened the hell out of Too Big To Fail, that’s for certain). I’d like to see more of him in movies that aren’t Valentine’s Day or Predators.

The big find of this movie, though is Teresa Palmer. Who is this girl? Why is she in no movies? I demand that Hollywood fix this. She’s wonderful here – warm, complicated, interesting – and all in a role that doesn’t really require much of an actress, that of the perfect, secretly accessible hot girl. Normally these roles get handed to the Megan Foxes of the world, so it’s nice to see the role given to someone with a little range. 

In short, Take Me Home Tonight is all you require a lighthearted rom-com to be: fun, frothy, but layered enough to keep you invested. And, if nothing else, it’s definitely better than The A-Team.

Updated Movie List

I'm going to go back through the posts and re-number them soon, since I'm adding a few movies to the list (I chose to do this list based on release date rather than whether I saw the movies before January or not, because otherwise it gets really confusing for me when I'm trying to do Oscar posts). Here's a quick update of where I am on that front:

Movies I’ve Just Recently Seen and Haven’t Figured Out Where They Rank Yet
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
The Adventures of Tintin
Midnight In Paris

Movies I Haven’t Seen Yet, Plan To Go See, But Probably Won’t Make It To
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Young Adult

Movies I Haven’t Seen Yet, Plan To, But Almost Definitely Won’t Find The Time For
War Horse
My Week With Marilyn
Hugo
The Artist

Movies I’m Probably Fooling Myself If I Think I’ll Ever Make It Out To See Them
Take Shelter

Movies I Missed in Theaters That I Won’t Manage To Get On This List Because They’re Not on DVD until January 20th
50/50

Movies I Redboxed Three Days Ago and Really Need To Watch Tonight
The Help

The 28th Best Movie I Saw This Year: Our Idiot Brother

Every year when I do this list, I hit a point where I realize the movies have moved from “movies I consider bad movies” to “movies I consider good movies.”  I’ll start writing a review, and instead of focusing on all the reasons I think it failed, I’ll focus on the reasons I liked it. We’ve crossed a line.

This is not that movie. This is the movie that is exactly on that line.

It’s entirely appropriate I watched this movie on a plane, since that seems to be the perfect medium for enjoying this film. It passed the time, and while I was not, perhaps enjoying myself, I was also not necessarily not enjoying myself. I was just watching a movie. On a plane. Like people do.

Our Idiot Brother features Paul Rudd as a pleasant, slovenly hippie whose unwavering belief in the good in humanity constantly lands him in trouble. He sells pot to a uniformed police officer simply because he asks nicely. Even after getting busted, Rudd simply tosses up his hands and moans “aw, man!” Nothing really gets his character down, other than the loss of his dog, Willie Nelson (I remember the name of the dog but no other characters, because the dog is referred to by his full name upwards of 70 times during the movie. I'm not sure if it was supposed to be funny. I know for a fact that it was exhausting). Instead, he floats along, untouched by normal human emotions. And by extension, so does this movie.

It's only after Rudd starts trying to move in with his sisters that things develop any momentum. He slouches cheerfully into their lives, and accidentally ruins all of them. Or does he? Is perhaps his innocence a mirror that simply shows the ugly reflections of what these women have allowed their lives to become?

Of course it is. And I know that, because I've seen a movie before.

There's nothing surprising here, nothing new. Everyone does a very good job at playing the roles they were handed, and all the actors in the film are likable and funny: Rudd, Zooey Deschanel, Steve Coogan, Adam Scott, Emily Mortimer, Elizabeth Banks, Rashida Jones... the list of talented performers here is remarkable. And they are not underutilized. They are merely... utilized. Exactly as you'd expect them to be.

The only times the movie shakes loose from its moorings is in what seem like mostly improvised scenes between Rudd and TJ Miller, revealing an easy comedic chemistry missing from most of the film. They made me realize what a carefree comedy-drama this film could have really been, especially considering the marvelous cast. Instead, this movie proved to be not much of anything at all. 

The 29th Best Move I Saw This Year: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

The colon situation in these blog titles is really getting out of hand. 

Whenever the latest movie in a film franchise comes out, it’s automatic that at some point in one of the ads, some movie reviewer quote-lackey will exclaim “It’s the best Pirates/Mission Impossible/Indy/Rocky yet!” I know for a fact several of these ads existed for this movie, I saw them everywhere. I just spent a good half-hour scouring the internet for one from this film without success, so you’ll have to take my word for it. But if you ever went near a television this last May, you must have seen them too.

I was obsessed with finding one of these because these are ads that mean simply nothing. While finding someone willing to say that the newest version of the franchise is the best ever may convince some people, it’s usually those people who weren’t going to see the movie anyway. After I saw the movie, a number of people who hadn’t seen it said to me, “I heard it’s pretty good!” No, you didn’t, I thought. You just turned on your television.  

On Stranger Tides is not “the best Pirates yet.” It’s not “arguably the best Pirates yet.” It’s not even “possibly the best Pirates yet.” It’s an overweight, poorly-realized mess, just like the movie before it was, and just the opposite of the fresh, carefree original. It’s not a movie. It’s just another piece in an increasingly wobbly franchise.

I’m going to propose something that is going to shock you Orlando Bloom haters to your core: this is a film that desperately misses having Bloom as its hero and central focus. There, I said it. 

I know, I know. You hate Orlando Bloom. You find him effeminate, wooden, and unremarkable. You may not be wrong. But whatever your opinion of Bloom, the fact remains that the character he embodied, Will Turner, was precisely the sort of chap an adventure movie needs. He’s brave, inexperienced, motivated, in love with an unattainable girl, and wildly out of his depths in the world he’s jumping into. There to guide him is Jack Sparrow – wily, mysterious, untrustworthy, everything you hope to find as a partner in a tall tale. Together they swash and buckle and do deeds of derring-do, and at the end the boy and the girl are reunited and his sly partner has managed to sneak out a bit of treasure for himself. Roll titles.

The filmmakers saw how well this worked the first time around and followed that up with a series of films that turned abruptly away from this concept. They recognized that the runaway success of the first film had made Jack Sparrow a huge icon (correct) and that they needed to have even more of him in the next movies (right again). So they dial back the importance of the other characters (wrong) and move Jack Sparrow to the center of the film (wronger still). Then they develop romantic tensions between Will’s love, Elizabeth Swan, and Jack Sparrow (probably wrong), but leave those tensions unresolved at the close of the trilogy (idiotic). And suddenly we have a franchise so disoriented that Johnny Depp is telling stories about how he and the director had conversations that went something like “I don’t understand it either, but let’s just shoot it.” And this is on the set of the final film in the “trilogy,” At World’s End, which is the most expensive film ever made. This is not the mark of a franchise sure of its standing.

On Stranger Tides tries to fix some of the ways its predecessors went off the tracks. It gives us a new, pure-hearted hero, a missionary (a fairly forgettable Sam Claflin) and a love interest for him, a mermaid (French actress Astrid Bergès-Frisbey, frail and impossibly lovely). There’s also a new love interest for Jack: an old flame (Penélope Cruz), as well as a new villain, Blackbeard (Ian McShane). Everything’s all set for a fresh start, right?

Of course not. That would mean that we’d learned something.

The storyline between the missionary and the mermaid is shunted to the side, and the two never really interact with the main characters, meaning that the movie added two new characters yet never used them for the purpose they were most needed: providing balance for Jack Sparrow. Instead, they’re just added weight. And, once again, Sparrow is placed in the center of the film, making all his untrustworthiness and general silliness frustrating rather than endearing.

While the notion that Penelope Cruz could be Ian McShane’s daughter is an amusing one, there’s not much to their story to draw in the viewer. Instead, we’re left watching the film lurch along on all the familiar action-movie beats until finally dragging to a halt in a runtime mercifully much shorter than its predecessor. And I’m left with the strange and altogether unwelcome feeling of missing Orlando Bloom.

I'm gonna go Redbox the first movie right now. All this disappointment has made me miss it terribly.

The 30th Best Move I Saw This Year: Green Lantern

Or rather:

In Defense of Rooney Mara

 

There was a minor internet scuffle last week about Rooney Mara’s comments on past roles – particularly her one-episode guest spot in “Law & Order: SVU” and the remake of Nightmare on Elm Street.

You may recall a similar kerfuffle last year when Shia LeBeouf took shots at both Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. He apologized that the Transformers franchise had lost his heart, and that Indiana Jones wasn’t any good either. He was roasted alive by the internet, and in a recent Entertainment Weekly interview with Steven Spielberg, the normally straightforward director said only “I’m not going to go there” when asked about the comments, as if the subject was much too painful to touch.    

What’s most interesting to me about these two events is how innocuous these comments actually are. In regards to Nightmare, Mara had only stated that, worried about the quality of the project, she’d sort of tried to sabotage her own audition by not giving it her all, and calling her "SVU" episode "ridiculous". After receiving some criticism, she later cleaned up her comments on “SVU” (supposedly she was calling humanity ridiculous as opposed to the episode’s storyline). LeBeouf’s comments are even more toothless – he was promising those disappointed with the second Transformers movie that the third one would be much better, and apologized for not performing better in Indiana Jones. His quote is “the actor's job is to make it come alive and make it work, and I couldn't do it. So that's my fault. Simple." Not much in the way of vitriol there.

I bring this up because there’s an unwritten rule in the film industry that the actor must constantly and unequivocally give their support to any film in which they appear. Depending on what these actors signed, it may in fact be a written one: most stars are contractually obligated to appear in promotion of the films they produced. Some actors are so good at this that their enthusiastic promotion becomes part of the decision to cast them (Tom Hanks, Will Smith), while other times an actor’s distaste for this process is so strong it becomes impossible for the audience to not pick it up (Harrison Ford being the best example). But that’s not what this is.

If Mara or LaBeaouf had said these things prior to their movie’s release, or in the weeks immediately following, there could be an argument that their comments affected the movie’s financial picture. But years after the fact, what damage could these comments possibly do?

If you read any of the angry posts about these two, you’ll find that most people’s thoughts seemed to run along the following lines: “you’re a famous actor, it’s a life millions of people want, why slam these jobs that so many people would do almost anything to have?” I understand that viewpoint. But I think the reason for their anger runs deeper than that.

Look, all of the movies we’ve discussed so far have been terrible. The comments Mara and LaBeouf said were perhaps the kindest things ever said about these movies. Indiana Jones was a terrible movie well before poor Shia ever appears on screen (the fridge scene locked that up), Transformers 2 was godawful even by the minimal standards we hold Michael Bay to, and horror fans hold this Nightmare remake roughly on the same level most people hold Pol Pot. So, so what if Rooney Mara thinks an episode of television where she played a skinny girl who killed fat people for being overweight is ridiculous? It is ridiculous. She’d be crazy not to think so.

What’s more, we eviscerate actors for appearing in these movies, in fact, we hold them personally responsible for their lack of quality. We call them sellouts and accuse them of mailing in performances or just showing up for the paycheck. When these movies fail, we blame the box office performance on the actors (“no one wanted to see them in this”). When a few of their movies fail in a row, we insist that these failings are the fault of the actors, and many an actor suddenly finds his or herself unemployed for reasons having very little to do with their talent and effort. It is a vicious business, and no one has ever had much sympathy for the famous.

Why don’t we value honesty from the actors that play these roles? A director can look back and admit his failings, a producer can talk about swings and misses, a movie studio can admit where they’ve dropped the ball. This week NBC’s entertainment chairman, Bob Greenblatt, admitted at the TCA that they’d had a bad fall, and he was praised to the skies for his honesty. But if Maria Bello were to take a shot at ‘Prime Suspect’ this spring, they’d hang her from a billboard.

You have to wait until the end of a distinguished career before you’re allowed to take shots, at which point it becomes charming. This is part of why we love Michael Caine so much.

Why did I bring this up instead of talking about Green Lantern? Well, mostly because Green Lantern isn’t very interesting to talk about. But also because the fact that it isn’t very interesting has little to do with Ryan Reynolds or Blake Lively.

I’ll defend those two and ignore the other actors in the film, since the two leads seemed to be the ones who shouldered all the blame, despite the fact that Mark Strong gave easily the weakest performance of his career. Peter Sarsgaard was also given a pass, since he’s Peter Sarsgaard and everyone loves him (that list includes me, so I have no trouble giving him a pass as well).

I don’t have the energy to get into all the reasons that people hate Blake Lively, but she falls into that category of lovely but moderately talented actresses that women seem to despise. In terms of talent, is the line between her and Sandra Bullock really all that wide? But Bullock is adored and admired and has an Oscar because of it, and Blake Lively has every piece of her life assumed to be a staged fame-grab, and also gets no credit for being actually pretty good in this terrible action movie.

Ryan Reynolds is a more interesting case. The argument about why Green Lantern failed seemed to whittle down to, “well, Ryan Reynolds isn’t actually a movie star”. As if that would matter. Movies franchises make stars, and not the other way around. No one has ever said, “let’s go see that new Tobey MacGuire/Daniel Radcliffe/Sam Worthington/Hayden Christensen movie,” yet somehow Spider-Man, Harry Potter, Avatar, and Star Wars managed to do just fine. Alice In Wonderland grossed over a billion dollars worldwide (ninth all time, by the way) without anyone ever feeling the need to crown Mia Wasikowska the new queen of Hollywood. In fact, I had to go look up how to spell her name just now, something I rarely have to do with Angelina Jolie.

Movies have buzz. People like the trailers, like the TV ads, hear good things about something, and go see the movies. The fact that John Carter will almost certainly bomb at the box office in a couple months doesn’t mean that Taylor Kitsch can’t ever be a movie star, it just means that no one wants to see an actor they barely know in some horrific-looking Star Wars/Waterworld thing. The public is smarter than movie studios think. We can spot a bad movie, Twilight excepted.

I, for one, eagerly await the next Ryan Reynolds movie*. He’s a fun actor and he doesn’t have to be a movie star for me to enjoy him. He just needs to be in a good movie.

Maybe when he is, he can admit that Green Lantern was pretty terrible. I won’t hold it against him.

 *wait, his next movie is Safe House. Never mind.