Top 5 Movies I'm Least Excited To See in 2010

I'm going to use the phrase "hijinks ensue" as often as possible in this list. Trust me, it's appropriate every single time.

Furry Vengance
Brendan Fraser tries to build a giant shopping mall in the woods, but hijinks ensue when the animals of the forest rise up against him in the cutest way possible. This is possibly the worst movie trailer I've ever seen.

When In Rome
Kristen Bell meets the man of her dreams (Josh Duhamel), but when she grabs some coins from a magic love fountain in Rome, hoping to grab the one he threw, hijinks ensue as she finds herself besieged by the attention of several slumming comedic actors, including Will Arnett and Danny Devito.

The Tooth Fairy
We've already covered the hijinks here, so let's just move on.

Dear John
Hijinks totally fail to ensue as Amanda Seyfried has a meetcute with Channing Tatum, he goes off to war, and they write each other long letters as they go about their lives. If I see this movie, I will finally discover whether it's possible to vomit and fall asleep at the same time.

The Spy Next Door
There are worse movies coming down the pike next year - I'll be doing a separate post about Death At A Funeral later - but I left this in because the hijinks ensuing here seem so ridiculous it feels like it can't possibly be a real movie. The best moment is right there in the trailer, when the announcer says "he's about to face his toughest assignment yet: babysitting!" At which point I fall on the floor, giggling myself to death.

Fun fact - the movie The Pacifier was originally written for Chan, but he turned it down and Vin Diesel did it instead. Five years later, Chan's career slows down enough that some small-minded movie producer out there finally gets his man.

Worst Dwayne Johnson Trailer?

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson has had an interesting career. A former WWE wrestler - including a brief stretch as household name in that profession - he gracelessly transitioned into a film career, playing in quick succession  a bounty hunter, a former US soldier bent on ending corruption in his small town, a character in a movie based off a video game no one had played in 10 years, and (twice) a large half-man-half-scorpion. Not exactly a John Cazale-type run there.

However, Johnson has now reinvented himself as a family movie star. After appearing in Gridiron Gang as the tough-love coach of a juvenile detention football team, he followed it up with The Game Plan, where an arrogant, self-absorbed quarterback discovers he has a precocious 8-year-old daughter with an old girlfriend, and he must learn to get over his love of himse.... well, you get the idea. I haven't seen the movie, but I'm assuming at the end the girl comes up with a trick play involving glitter or something that wins them the Super Bowl.

It was at about this time that movie execs realized "man, The Rock will do anything." And so The Game Plan was followed by disasters like Race To Witch Mountain and now, these two movies.

I was in a theater over the weekend where these two trailers played back-to-back - it was almost too much pain for one man to humanly handle. I was gasping for air by the end.  First up is Tooth Fairy, where an arrogant, self-absorbed hockey player (guess who) is punished for his non-belief in magic by being forced to serve as a tooth fairy for a short time.

Second is Planet 51, where an arrogant, self-absorbed astronaut finds himself on an alien planet where - wait for it - wait for it - he's considered the alien.

Embedding was disabled, but here's the link.

I was gonna do a whole post about voting for the "Worst Trailer Of The Year," but then I realized that it's pretty much down to these two. So go ahead and vote: which one of these trailers is the Worst Trailer of the Year?